On this episode I have a conversation with Amelia about where we are in our lives, roughly one year (~1.5 for her) out of college, still figuring out what we’re trying to accomplish, and how to move forward in this unique phase.  We talk about the expectations we had for our lives a year ago, what we’re working towards, how we feel stuck, how get ‘unstuck’, and how to actually work on the fulfilling things we love.  Amelia digs deep into me and I share the stories of how I struggled with and overcame multiple bouts of depression, and for the first time, I publicly talk about why I’m sober.  We ground things at the end by touching on what we dislike about ourselves, and what we find interesting about each other.

Out of all the podcasts I’ve been a part of, this experience has been the most motivating for me.  I can already see my life changing as a result of this conversation, and it only happened a few days ago.  Being around Amelia has been incredibly positive for me, and I hope some of our positivity is shared in this episode.

Chapters:

  • Intro [0:00]
  • Background on Amelia/not belonging in corporate America [10:25]
  • Where does Amelia belong/how to find your career passions [18:40]
  • The unique phase Amelia’s life is in right now [27:40]
  • What Amelia is struggling with now [30:30]
  • The story of how I started the podcast [33:00]
  • How our mindsets have shifted since graduating college [59:15]
  • How to get unstuck/become a creative [1:14:30]
  • What Amelia would do if she could do anything [1:30:20]
  • My story of experiencing and overcoming multiple periods of depression [1:58:00]
  • Why I’m sober [2:22:00]
  • “What about ourselves are we the most critical of, or do we like the least?” [2:28:15]
  • Why we find each other so interesting [2:44:00]
  • Outro [2:51:00]

Selected Links for the Episode:

Selected Quotes from the Episode:

  • “I always thought that there was something about me that people didn’t like and this was this emptiness inside that I felt.  There must be some reason why my parents won’t ask me questions, ever.  That they don’t show interest in my life.  And there must be a reason, it must be the same reason, why people don’t show interest in me, and I can’t seem to make friends, and why all of my girlfriends have been mean to me.”

  • “I would get myself into social situations everyday that would make my skin crawl”

  • “The output scares me.  It’s intimidating to put something out there that you made, and that has your name on it.” -Amelia

  • “Is this really a passion? Is this really what I would be doing, because, if it was, wouldn’t I be doing it?” -Amelia

  • “If I don’t do this now, when am I going to do it?” -Amelia

  • “I saw that there was the easy way, and the easy way was fragile and that it could fall apart at any minute and that I actually got fulfillment from pursuing these goals, whether or not they were delusional.  Willpower and discipline is a practice… and you get better at it through time.  I did it at first because I thought that I had to, and I still think that.  I still think if I don’t build this structure in my life, I’m going to go crazy.”

  • “I was doing stupid unfulfilling things and I got lost.  Then at one point I woke up and said holy shit what’s wrong with me, why haven’t I gotten out of bed, why do I feel like crying all the time, but I can’t.”

  • “I was one of the best rowers on my team because I learned how to say yeah you fucking can do this, don’t listen to your body that’s screaming at you to stop.”

  • “Thats where I get worried that I’ll get lost in my head…  [T]rying to figure out what part of that is me and what part is how I think I should be, for myself or for other people… I wish it were a little easier to be authentically who I am” -Amelia

Amelia Hollow